I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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