I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
