Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize