I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
