PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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