Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
