Hey man sorry I got all grabby
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
