Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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  (617): May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape http://tfl.nu/qfom
  Replies (12) Good night (4443) Bad night (1529)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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  (978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm? http://tfl.nu/7m7e
  Replies (22) Good night (2041) Bad night (4122)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.

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  (410): I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs. http://tfl.nu/xa92
  Replies (85) Good night (8483) Bad night (1256)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!

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  (919): She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me! http://tfl.nu/g61u
  Replies (16) Good night (10770) Bad night (1023)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3718) Bad night (1509)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.

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  (215): I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy. http://tfl.nu/orpn
  Replies (16) Good night (2836) Bad night (915)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?

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  (980): I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap? http://tfl.nu/ykcv
  Replies (11) Good night (785) Bad night (2333)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval

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  (949): I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval http://tfl.nu/htsq
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (479)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (1031) Bad night (477)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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  (206): after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted. http://tfl.nu/6q2s
  Replies (5) Good night (475) Bad night (685)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!

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  (817): Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude! http://tfl.nu/8kar
  Replies (3) Good night (847) Bad night (479)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth

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  (301): I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth http://tfl.nu/jeme
  Replies (7) Good night (680) Bad night (550)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.

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  (647): right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind. http://tfl.nu/6tql
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (289)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.

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  (406): So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad. http://tfl.nu/q68j
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (605)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.

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  (425): He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth. http://tfl.nu/g2az
  Replies (6) Good night (352) Bad night (803)

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