I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?