I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think i got beer on your cat.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
