That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Okay so I just had a really great idea