Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
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im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Drake has all the answers
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.