So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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