put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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