I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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