She is in my trunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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