His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
