Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize