omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
