Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
