For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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