Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
