Fine. I'll sleep in my office
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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