how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando