Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

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  (303): I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book http://tfl.nu/0iyr
  Replies (18) Good night (1450) Bad night (6671)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...

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  (610): I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand... http://tfl.nu/us7j
  Replies (36) Good night (543) Bad night (2356)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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  (734): similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well. http://tfl.nu/7lvz
  Replies (143) Good night (4304) Bad night (844)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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  (814): It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice. http://tfl.nu/t4ih
  Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (4997)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.

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  (314): You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound. http://tfl.nu/fc6l
  Replies (13) Good night (1075) Bad night (6626)
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  (585): View more from New York

  she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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  (585): she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over http://tfl.nu/tk3t
  Replies (13) Good night (9900) Bad night (1076)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1314) Bad night (528)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4154) Bad night (770)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Wait. Someome brought slutcake?

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  (403): Christ, I really took the slutcake last night. (1-403): Wait. Someome brought slutcake? http://tfl.nu/hkv2
  Replies (9) Good night (2114) Bad night (591)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.

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  (201): We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two. http://tfl.nu/ib5v
  Replies (1) Good night (1151) Bad night (504)
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  (818): View more from California

  Hahah what did you even say to him?!

  (805): View more from California

  That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?

  (818): View more from California

  Oh.

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  (818): Hahah what did you even say to him?! (805): That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower? (818): Oh. http://tfl.nu/lvu0
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (475)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?

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  (765): Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots? http://tfl.nu/q4x4
  Replies (8) Good night (1822) Bad night (493)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.

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  (541): I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house. http://tfl.nu/7lqp
  Replies (6) Good night (1098) Bad night (393)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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  (334): I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/753g
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (298)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do

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  (615): there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/2r0x
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (447)

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