I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species