Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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  (646): I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback http://tfl.nu/fcgu
  Replies (22) Good night (3496) Bad night (924)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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  (270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq
  Replies (12) Good night (1355) Bad night (5125)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Not including when spray tanning

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  (425): It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom. (425): Not including when spray tanning http://tfl.nu/n9vy
  Replies (17) Good night (1068) Bad night (4243)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.

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  (269): There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now. http://tfl.nu/59k6
  Replies (9) Good night (1656) Bad night (755)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (627)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (703)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

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  (603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek
  Replies (8) Good night (2264) Bad night (531)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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  (412): okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain" http://tfl.nu/zllc
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (516)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.

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  (717): For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point. http://tfl.nu/kshm
  Replies (0) Good night (712) Bad night (386)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.

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  (570): So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry. http://tfl.nu/zqk1
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (353)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  The band last night was really good

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.

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  (252): The band last night was really good (1-252): That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were. http://tfl.nu/08ms
  Replies (2) Good night (1093) Bad night (361)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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  (306): I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth. http://tfl.nu/zq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (564)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.

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  (704): Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day. http://tfl.nu/lzy7
  Replies (7) Good night (458) Bad night (429)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.

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  (402): Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that. http://tfl.nu/5bb0
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (323)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't

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  (908): it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't http://tfl.nu/5cpt
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (239)

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