Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso

Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6

Replies (24) Good night (1118) Bad night (2760) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa? http://tfl.nu/jog8

Replies (32) Good night (3314) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(661): View more from California

so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa. http://tfl.nu/lwmw

Replies (22) Good night (5959) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod

Replies (9) Good night (2564) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0

Replies (43) Good night (1889) Bad night (13908) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me. http://tfl.nu/jccz

Replies (26) Good night (867) Bad night (3899) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(305): View more from Florida

once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(305): once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away http://tfl.nu/wxv7

Replies (15) Good night (966) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy http://tfl.nu/uhwk

Replies (13) Good night (3520) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man. http://tfl.nu/yftr

Replies (5) Good night (3446) Bad night (1176) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(289): View more from Ontario

Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe

Replies (17) Good night (5232) Bad night (817)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj

Replies (8) Good night (1022) Bad night (1945) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06

Replies (6) Good night (1054) Bad night (460)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch. http://tfl.nu/4axa

Replies (6) Good night (2987) Bad night (449)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking. http://tfl.nu/5t1f

Replies (10) Good night (218) Bad night (1827) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: