Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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  (248): well I can't set my house on fire every night http://tfl.nu/iwc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1543) Bad night (1125)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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  (770): I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. http://tfl.nu/9rwz
  Replies (20) Good night (3540) Bad night (611)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3361) Bad night (792)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (9954) Bad night (1186)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options

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  (416): the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options http://tfl.nu/sle9
  Replies (4) Good night (3516) Bad night (516)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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  (704): Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some. http://tfl.nu/ntfp
  Replies (12) Good night (1211) Bad night (5219)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?

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  (970): Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone? http://tfl.nu/jm19
  Replies (4) Good night (2433) Bad night (1115)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1267) Bad night (2144)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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  (703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42
  Replies (3) Good night (1396) Bad night (3757)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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  (814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51
  Replies (5) Good night (2116) Bad night (725)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor

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  (253): don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor http://tfl.nu/wvuf
  Replies (9) Good night (1496) Bad night (402)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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  (940): I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight. http://tfl.nu/7wi4
  Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (903)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

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  (678): Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night http://tfl.nu/l7hl
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (154)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.

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  (863): I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable. http://tfl.nu/j0cs
  Replies (0) Good night (187) Bad night (248)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.

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  (662): She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER. http://tfl.nu/ip4a
  Replies (5) Good night (196) Bad night (566)

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