Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  The bars here don't close until 4!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  my legs don't close until 4

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  (407): The bars here don't close until 4! (703): my legs don't close until 4 http://tfl.nu/ja9y
  Replies (28) Good night (3806) Bad night (619)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.

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  (615): Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness. http://tfl.nu/v4md
  Replies (17) Good night (849) Bad night (3148)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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  (641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon. http://tfl.nu/inm7
  Replies (41) Good night (9469) Bad night (1618)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (298) Good night (75067) Bad night (2945)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform

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  (870): You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform http://tfl.nu/z93z
  Replies (7) Good night (4666) Bad night (948)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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  (404): I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious. http://tfl.nu/jbo1
  Replies (8) Good night (5528) Bad night (1062)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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  (919): Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment. http://tfl.nu/yr4f
  Replies (10) Good night (3278) Bad night (1884)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

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  (409): Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company http://tfl.nu/2763
  Replies (13) Good night (728) Bad night (2529)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...

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  (315): Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime... http://tfl.nu/v3a6
  Replies (7) Good night (2196) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (3967) Bad night (1557)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.

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  (804): of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed. http://tfl.nu/rret
  Replies (2) Good night (1531) Bad night (607)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.

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  (614): Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles. http://tfl.nu/gha2
  Replies (10) Good night (2646) Bad night (659)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?

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  (504): I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game? http://tfl.nu/ymnf
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (567)
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  (805): View more from California

  The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.

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  (805): The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it. http://tfl.nu/fb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (327)
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  (+81): View more from

  I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.

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  (+81): I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers. http://tfl.nu/u6ab
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (287)

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