Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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