Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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