The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
