i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
