"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
