It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
