He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
