wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
