i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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