chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
