Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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