if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
