I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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