Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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