A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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