Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
