I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
