I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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