Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I will pee on everything he values.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
