I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
