is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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