i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
