things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize