we have officially lost it.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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