I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
