I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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