its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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