So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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