nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
