Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize