Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
