We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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