Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do vagina's smell?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
