My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
