Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
