Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I love having hate sex.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
